I remember vibrating with anger. When was it going to be my turn?! My anger started to pour into how I spoke, my body language, and my relationships. But, most importantly, I needed to fix my face!
My prayer is that this disruptive devotion will meet you right where you are: ANGRY!
Scripture
Psalm 51:10 (AMP)
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a right and steadfast spirit within me.
Psalm 51:10 (MSG)
God, make a fresh start in me,
shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
Triggered
There were a series of different interactions with "this woman" that made me want to strangle her. I could do NOTHING right in her sight. Quite frankly, she was a bully and she was my spiritual leader.
At this time in my life, I had already made one of the pivotal decisions that had propelled me into a journey of discovery and a new identity in my faith. I was proud of the progress I had made and felt like I had a RIGHT to protect my growth. I was back active in church, had let go of those "relationships" that were cyclical, and really began to spend some intentional time with God.
And HERE SHE COMES, criticizing me at every turn: from what I wore, to how I led my ministry, to how I needed to navigate my life.
Triggered!
I remember one specific incident, at a church leadership meeting. I had rehearsed in my mind, earlier that morning, how we all do. You know! That conversation you are anticipating your ANTAGONIST will have with you, where you have all the best retorts and comebacks.
Girlllllll, I was ready for this meeting!
Out of my typical character, I chose to sit in the back. I wasn't going to give her 100% because I knew today she was likely ammoed up with "feedback" on my performance from the last Sunday.
Before any altercation could ensue, a dear friend and mentor of mine, walked past me and kindly and firmly said "Fix your face." To be honest, it took me more than just that day to "fix my face." It took quite a bit of time, a ton of grace for myself and others, it took my community, and my commitment to the growth process to begin maturing in this area.
Proverbs 27:6 (AMP) "Faithful are the wounds of a friend [who corrects out of love and concern]. "
To be clear, she was correcting me on my heart posture. I wasn't trying to live like Jesus, I was ready to "pop off" on this lady! I had allowed my struggle with rejection to take a seat in my mind, in my emotions, and in my actions. At this point, rejection AND pride were doing a little two-step. I felt like she was trying to strip away or belittle the growth I had made.
Proverbs 12:15 (AMP) "The way of the [arrogant] fool [who rejects God’s wisdom] is right in his own eyes, But a wise and prudent man is he who listens to counsel."
The Pruning Process
If you've made it this far in the devotional, there has likely been a situation in your own life that you can recall or maybe a situation you are in now that comes up. If this rocks you on the inside and feels really uncomfortable, DO NOT RUN.
TIP: Staying planted, and not uprooting yourself from the pruning, is the requirement for a NEW beginning. This is what it looks like to learn to "Remain". John 15:4
Let me also tell you right now before we go any further, you have permission to CHANGE your mind. You don't have to remain captive to the feelings that have come up.
You get to DECIDE to be obedient and embrace the correction, the pruning. There is so much MORE for you on the other side of the hurt, the anger, and the rejection you may be feeling right now.
Decide to do the thing that is uncomfortable in order to receive the unimaginable. The unimaginable only happens when you press into the discomfort of change and growth.
Let's continue.
As I navigated this SEASON in my life, I DECIDED to embrace the correction. When I said "Yes" to being pruned in my thought process, my emotions (aka my attitude), and my actions, I began to see everything more clearly, not just myself but others as well.
Instead of anger or resentment, leaning into the growth produced insight and compassion for how to navigate the relationship. I learned how to submit to correction from leadership but also how to extend grace when myself or others revealed their flaws and imperfections.
I began to understand that the pruning process was necessary for me to grow into the mature woman I was always destined to be.
Hear me! The pruning process is NECESSARY. It's what is needed to help you GROW in alignment with your PURPOSE.
TO 👏🏽
BE 👏🏽
CLEAR👏🏽
This means you have to be willing to embrace CHANGE and endure the HEAT! It's all for the STRETCHING. It's the heat and the pressure that allows you to be molded into the EXPANDED version of yourself. And in order to continue to grow, the areas in my life that weren't bearing fruit had to be cut. I DECIDED to accept the cutting to restore the focus of my growth.
John 15:1-2 (AMP) "I am the true Vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that continues to bear fruit, He [repeatedly] prunes, so that it will bear more fruit [even richer and finer fruit]."
Disrupting the Lie
What you are experiencing right now is a DISRUPTION. God is challenging your current habits and looking to mold you into your EXPANDED self. In order to do this, we must first identify the lies and uproot them from our thinking, emotions, and behavior.
So, here are the lies that need to be disrupted to help you embrace the CHANGE and expand into the woman or man you are purposed to be:
Those who are criticizing me can't really see me and don't appreciate me.
The growth I've made means I don't need any more correcting.
I can see myself better than anybody else can see me.
I don't need to adjust my attitude, I have a right to be angry.
I can't control how I feel, so it is what it is.
This is who I am and this is how I will always be.
I don't need a community to grow, I can self-correct.
Here are a few ways you know you are believing the lies:
You result to name calling.
You find yourself rehearsing conversations before they happen.
It is hard for you to receive feedback.
You tend to withdraw from certain people because you want to create distance.
You are unwilling to have a hard conversation with the person who has offended you.
You start critiquing and pointing out other people's mess ups.
Discovering the Truth
The truth is, God wants to do a NEW thing in YOU. It is not about the other person. God will use others and situations to refine you. You are looking at them but God is looking at you.
Psalm 51:10 (AMP) "Create in ME a clean heart, O God, And renew a right and steadfast spirit within ME.
Psalm 51:10 (MSG) God, make a fresh start in ME shape a Genesis week from the chaos of MY life.
Fixing your face means holding up the mirror and taking a look at what you like.
What do you see?
What words are coming out of your mouth?
How are you treating the people around you?
How do you see yourself?
What kinds of thoughts are you rehearsing?
What emotions tend to take over?
What is your trigger point?
Listen, I understand what you may be feeling right now.
But know this: when it HITS and PROVOKES, it's an invitation to SIT and SEEK!
God is inviting you into the disruptive process of transformation. You are being asked to EXPAND. The question is, are you willing to?
Making A Decision
If you are ready to see more clearly, believe more deeply, and live a life EXPANDED and IN PURPOSE, it's time to decide that you are worthy of the more that God has for you.
The invitation is to begin to SIT and SEEK. First, by acknowledging that you are triggered, feeling the emotions of rejection, maybe anger or disappointment. Other feelings may come up as well, like, shame or embarrassment.
This is what we take to the Father for cleaning: our mind, our will, and our emotions.
Here's how you begin to SIT and SEEK:
Make time in your schedule to reflect. Using the questions above and begin capturing your thoughts (in a journal or on your phone).
Read the scripture verses provided and just sit with them.
Be honest with yourself about where you are in this process (your thoughts, your emotions, and your behavior).
Pray; a simple prayer asking God for help in the areas that come up.
"Father, help me with (insert items in #3). Make a fresh start in ME. Amen"
Listen, if you have made it this far, I am so proud of you! A word of encouragement, as you begin to SIT and SEEK, you may start to feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable. I encourage NOT TO RUN. You are not alone. I am praying for you and available when needed. Feel free to reach out.
- Coach Leah
 Leah N. Wiggs, M.Ed Disruptive Life Coach Retreat Curator & Consultant Empowerment Speaker Decide. Expand. Impact. info@theleahnicole.com www.theleahnicole.com 919.985.3019 |
This devotion has made me think about how I respond, and what I goes on in my head. I understand the pruning process, but what gets me is, the response to it. I can be pruned from the dead ends, but they seem to return over and over. I have to keep doing it about every 6-8weeks. So I have learned that it is a cycle that will never end. The old is cut off, new growth that causes the ends to grow old, they need cut off, and repeat the process. The response I have is..."how I handle the prune, will determine the outcome of my growth." I just have to embrace it and do it. No matter…